Hey guys, guess what? I really love the Mountain Goats! If you know me, you’re probably rolling your eyes right now, and Ms. Tuesday might be pissed that I got to this entry before she did.
So making this list was pretty hard, since JD has penned over 500 songs in his fifteen-year recording career. I pride myself in having heard a lot of them, maybe almost all of them. There are only a few that I don’t actually like. Also, it’s bullshit that I don’t have anything from All Hail West Texas on here, since that is one of my favorite MGs albums, but it was actually impossible to pick only one or even two songs off of that album that I liked more than all the others.
(10) Raid on Entebbe—Jack and Faye
This is the first Mountain Goats song I ever heard, for some reason. I thought he was insane for doing the thing where he lists everything he can see, everything he feels, and everything anyone does so that the scene is in perfect visceral detail. I think one of the reasons that I love the Mountain Goats so much (and my best friend and philosopher-queen, D. Young, has posited this before) is that nothing in his songs is abstract. Nothing is open to interpretation—he brings you right there with him, sometimes almost sickeningly so. He’s not singing this because there are these abstract feelings that he is expressing about some abstract second person that may or may not be in the audience. He’s singing this because he HAS to tell YOU this story. He HAS to tell you every little thing about it. As someone from Tiny Mix Tapes said before me, “John Darnielle would never say ‘whatev.’” Everything is important. Every feeling, every utterance, every detail. “Raid on Entebbe” is a textbook example of JD’s anti-whatev philosophy, which is why I love it so much.
(9) The Recognition Scene—Sweden
You can feel this song in your bloodstream, as if JD stuck an IV in there and dripped this syrup in it--pure, distilled, saccharine melancholy. I think this song is often overlooked, being the first track on Sweden and all, but every time I hear it I am electrified and placated at the same time. My body stiffens and relaxes into mush, simultaneously. It’s almost like being in love with someone you hate.
(8) Game Shows Touch Our Lives—Tallahassee
Speaking of being in love with someone you hate… “People say friends don’t destroy one another/what do they know about friends?” One of the all time Darnilleist Darnielle lyrics, and even though I’ve never been in an emotionally abusive relationship, I know EXACTLY what he means. “Our house sinking into disrepair/Ah, but look at this showroom/filled with fabulous prizes”—not only does he touch on the excellent House Metaphor that he loves so much (see: The Fall of the House of Usher), but he’s also talking about the eggs that Woody Allen (the other dysfunctional relationship expert) talks about at the end of Annie Hall. It’s a sudden, completely visible moment of clarity, and everything is finally foucused.
(7) Jaipur—the Coroner’s Gambit
It’s all about the crunchy guitar and the particular way the 8-track picks up the almost unbearably nasal quality of his voice here. It makes everything so much direr, more volatile. JD’s infamous biblical/mythological references are in top form here, blending them with the Otis Redding-style narrative of moving up and down the eastern seaboard. I can’t think of a time when he’s more desperate than he is here, roaming, waiting for a car with chrome tail pipes, the jewel-encrusted chariot.
(6) Maize Stalk Drinking Blood—Full Force Galesburg
“This is an empty country/and I am the king/and I should not be allowed to touch anything.” That is all. Also, the image in the title used to freak me out a lot and made me not want to listen to the song, but then I learned about the meso-American myth that it’s referencing, and now I think it’s awesome.
(5) Commandante—Devil in the Shortwave
My friends are all pretty pissed at me for singing this song incessantly while I’m tryina get my drink on. It’s a kickass drinking song at its core, with enough Mao references to keep any pinko happy. “We’re gonna sail though the night sky/like a pair of bottle rockets” is one of JD’s more adorable images, but this song is on here because it’s just so much fun to yell at the top of your lungs when your drunk with all of your other MGs lovin’ friends.
(4) September 16th Triple X Love! Love!—Sweden
The Tuesday girl is going to insist that this song is titled “September 19th Triple X Love! Love!” but actually, I have no idea where the title comes from, and it bugs me. It’s classic passive/aggressive JD, and I think it has some of the most beautiful imagery of all of the Mountain Goats’ beautiful imagery. If I die before I see someone outside my window chopping wood and setting it on fire in the snow, my life will have been so much the worse.
(3) Going to Queens—Sweden
You just can’t have one without the other. And just before you think that Sweden is being overrepresented on this list, just take a listen to this track. It’s so nice to hear Rachel, bassist with tMGs until 1995, singing this nursery rhyme, with JD doing the growly harmonies underneath. Once, JD played this song for me around a campfire between sips of whiskey. It was two years ago, and I still know that I will die happy.
Look! There he is, teaching my best friend’s ex-boyfriend how to play something! (Polaroid credit: D. Young, 2007).
(2) Minnesota—Full Force Galesburg
I don’t think JD has ever written a better slow jam. His voice is so small here, and I feel like his guitar is deeper than the 8-track allows for. It’s a song you can live inside of.
“We may throw the windows open later/but we are not as far west as you suppose we are.”
(1) Going to Bridlington—unreleased
So how alt am I, telling all of y’all that my favorite tMGs song is unreleased. But you know how when you know someone really well, it’s really hard to describe what they’re like? Or you know how when you take a personality test, you have to answer yes or no questions and you just sort of sit there for a while like, scratching your head, “Am I usually early or late for my appointments?” Trying to tell you why I like this song so goddamn much is sort of like that. It’s pretty unfathomable.
I'll get you the links to this shit tomorrow. Right now it's not even technically Monday anymore, and my history paper is callin' my name.
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