Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

ANTIQUATED MUSIC MONDAYS!

Just before we start, I'd like to apologize for starting the week out with such a Sex in the City-esque entry--


One of the many (???) perks of going to college near Cleveland is going to college near the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of fame. Turns out that this is not a perk, and the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame is really wack, and that’s what we’re bloggin’ about today.

For those of you who are lucky enough to have never been there, the RnRHoF (???) has lots and lots of artifacts and memorabilia on display that may or may not have something to do with the music your parents like (and also the music you like? For some reason, there was a Built to Spill poster and T-shirt—the one I own—on display and also some of Jay-Z’s jerseys)(Also, when I say “the music that your parent like, I mean the music of their generation. I really, really love a lot of music made in the 60s and 70s, and I realize that most of you do too.). I saw George Harrison’s original 1963 Rickenbacher (which is admittedly pretty awesome) alongside the last piano John Lennon played (creepy) next to a glass case containing Paul McCartney’s Sgt. Pepper suit (whatever). Then there was Janis Joplin’s Porsche (didn’t she want to drive a Mercedes Benz?) painted up all trippy, the focal point of which was a gigantic hallucinogenic mushroom with a gleaming eye painted on the hood. I saw the first-ever U2 t-shirt ever screen-printed (done by the Edge himself in like, 1975) and several pairs of Bono’s sunglasses, as well as the outfit he wore in his first world tour. They had Tina Turner’s dress that she once wore to the VMAs, a leather poncho that belonged to Stevie Winwood, and seemingly every single thing Mick Jagger has ever worn. A highlight was Michael Jackson’s sequined glove that he wore in the “Billy Jean” video, displayed on a rotating prosthetic hand, also in a glass case.

The thing is, I really like the song “Billy Jean.” I also really like that video. But as soon as the sequined glove comes off of Michael Jackson’s hand, I don’t really give a shit about it. I like Michael Jackson’s music, not all of the artifacts that surround it, and not really even him. I really like Janis Joplin, but her weird little car has little to no relevance to the songs she sung. The problem (or, you know, awesome thing) with music is that it can’t really be embodied and then put up on display. The song “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” is great, but it is not the same thing as the outfit Mick Jagger wore when he first performed it.

So would a real Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame just be an empty, white chamber where lots of good records were played? Would it be a magical live venue in which museum staff could re-incarnate any of the dead musicians that they wished to commemorate in one final show? Why would anyone choose to memorialize pop music by displaying all of the things that were sort of dragged along for the ride?

Music is on records, but it’s not the records themselves. It’s played by people who (sometimes) wear clothes, but it’s not the people, and it really isn’t the clothes. Sometimes music has lyrics, but music isn’t the pieces of paper that the lyrics are written on. By displaying all of these things, the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hal of Fame is trying to create visible manifestations of the invisible things that we are actually reacting to when we love music. Maybe you should walk across the street to the Cleveland Museum of Science to learn about sound waves, or talk to a psychiatrist about your intense, untouched feelings that music arouses. But I would say that if you want to memorialize rock music, you should probably jump in your car, crank the Led, and drive as fast as you can away from the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame.

Rock 'n' Roll: Led Zeppelin